Ashton.. what a cheerful boy!

!
i love their cheeky smiles.. brightens up my day!


Ashton learnt to turn!


In his lowered playpen.. he was kind of shocked..


How to get out??






He Is really growing fast!

He just learnt to sit up 2 weeks ago.. and 1 week ago learnt to crawl.. and he is now attempting to stand!

He can "complain" now if i walk away.. calling out "mama mama" and actually makes pitiful faces!

Today, he just learnt to hold his milk bottle and take it out from his mouth and put it back in..

AK & I are so amazed.. Was Jadelle ever that fast? I guess having a sibling push no. 2 to learn faster!

But, i wish he stay a baby longer..:(

time flies.. Jadelle is 3 on 3rd september..

Crazy over disney princess now..


r
Dinner after JAdelle's first movie (G Force). It was her outing with Daddy & Mummy alone!


Choosing her present @ Toys R us! Ariel!! Camera! Cheese!


Trying out those fluffy party hairbands!


Pretty Ballerina..



Digging into her Barbie chocolate sponge cupcake cake in school!


With current best pal - Yixuan!


With her class & teachers!


Cheeky girl & her worned out mummy (A Challenge to run after her to dress her up!!)


Jadelle's a princess on her 3rd birthday!


Latest Family potrait and her 2nd birthday cake!


In school with her Princess cake! Mymmy & Daddy did not work!


.. With her looking like a Princess!




Her Barbie Princess Cupcake cake!

Well, no biggie celebration for her this year.. but it is her first ever birthday celebration in school..and she got to cut 2 cakes.. and spent her day with mummy & daddy in school.

We also took her out to her first Movie and she get to choose 2 presents from Toys R Us.. luckily we didn't break the bank!

Really naughty girl, but so cute when she is nice.. but.. what a nasty temper she has.. sigh..

Officially a SAHM...Ashton is 4 months old..

I was supposed to return to work on may 10.. things turned as per predicted and I am now a SAHM.. the good thing? no need to serve 2 months notice but still get 2 months salary..

the bad thing? My self esteem is hit. I am unsure about what's next..

Going through some interviews.. see where it brings me.. but I am tired of climbing the corporate ladder to get the next promotion.. I think i am getting older.

Now, just wish to spend more time with my family and less time to think about work. Wish I can stay at home and have $2k min. to spend.. that would be nice.. dreaming about it.. haha..

but then, how to make it come through??

Ashton is 4 months old this coming week and 17 weeks.. Time flies.. he smiles alot.. and can yell really loud. Recognise my face and his daddy's face, and definitely Jadelle's face.. And he can hold his head so well now upright.. already he has learned to flip from tummy to back and just yesterday, he flip from back to tummy.. I was so happy.. I remembered how excited i was about jadelle's development at that time..

Today, i noticed that he has started to explore toys with his mouth and fingers.. can hold his toys really well and aimed for them too.. his grip is so strong..

My little Ashton is growing too fast for my liking.. Soon, he will start his weaning journey.. Getting ready for it slowly now..

wanchai zhuhai seafood street


Ash & Jade @ Venetian


portuguese food.. - jade having fever..

buying snacks n egg tarts

gondola canal.. n largest shopping mall in macau venetian

back from hong kong.. never again!!

fresh seafood @ zhuhai

finally @ zhuhai, Hing got stuck due to his passport..


@ Bella Suite in Venetian Macau! 6 adults, 3 infants, 1 room!


Cha Chan Teng @ HK


On ferry to MAcau..

Will never be so ambitious to go so many places with both kids and for 8 days!! Jadelle was difficult and insisted on being carried.. Ashton only wants me, so end up, MIL handled Jadelle.. until she was super tired out..

Had food poisoning in turns, and jadelle & her cousin both kanna high fever and cough in Macau. FIL also had food poisoning (we conclude it was the congee he ta bao back to hotel).

Nevertheless, we did visit the following places all 6 adults and 1 toddler & 2 infants..
- Tsimshashui
- Repulse Bay
- Stanley Market (Bought cute grip socks, burberry jeans n oshkosh jumper, thomas & frens bags and socks)
- The Peak (had dinner @ Bubba Gump with fantastic view)
- Dim sum @ Shamrock seafood restaurant (60 sgd ! Value for $$) and MAxim's Grand palace (200 sgd for best dim sum restaurant in HK!!)
- Wong Tai Sin Temple
- Ladies Market
- Venetian Macau - food court cost us 80 sgd!
- Taipa Village (Macau) - nice to walk!
- Dinner @ Portuguese restaurant Dumbo ) - 60 sgd only
- St Pauls & Senado Square (Macau) - yum yum peanut cookie tasting and great photos! Jadelle blew bubbles @ the Square!
- Shopping & Seafood @ ZhuHai China (60 sgd only! Choose ur own seafood! We had super big and fresh Osyters, scallops, fish, clams, etc!!)
- Shopping @ Sogo in HK (Bought 2 Longchamp bags @ real steal of 180sgd!)
- Old wife's biscuits shopping
- Disneyland (expensive!! but so much fun!!)

spare tyre..

ok, i feel like a goddamn spare tyre at home.. MIL jaga jadelle.. maid jaga ashton.. i only feel useful during ashton's feeding time.. but cannot latch so often liaoz.. he seemed to be rejecting the bottle!!

and i feel so useless also about my work! Now on ML, helpless.. dun understand wat's happening at work..

My pay was cut this month.. is this allowed??

sahm?? haha..

some thinks that being a tai tai is a luxury that one enjoy if their ah lau earn enough.. but, how much is enough?

the last 3 months, in spite of uncertainty, i been going thru the lifestyle of a SAHM and been shopping on weekdays, eating out with frenz, fetching my girl to school.. time flies..

mostly enjoyable.. these past 3 months, i had alot of help and support from in laws and maids.. a piviledge that few enjoy. yet, increasingly, i feel so lonely.. so out of touch.. very unwanted, the spare tyre to entertain.

@ MIL place, jadelle is handled by her (feeding, playing, washing, bathing etc) and i am mostly ignored by her, made worse by the fact that i have a permanent milk sucker latched on. when she doesn't want MIL< instead of me, she ask for my SIL to do stuff with her... this hurts so badly.. but i "ren".. cos, they still love her, not like torturing her?

but when she exhibits selfish behaviour that i condone and insist on correcting, i become the bad person. and she runs even more to the shelter of her grandparents and auntie for comfort and hugs.. frankly, i don't know how to correct... i only know my mum's method.. which only is applied when i go crazy and turn white with anger.. then, i lose control for that few minutes...i am actually capable of whacking my girl until she turn unconscious..that i am no better then my past caregivers..

i want to leave it all behind now. i despise this lifestyle and question why i have to be bogged down by all these? i want to be free.. yet i chose this.. love ain't enough after all.. i say this after so many years of dating.. cos we dun juz marry for love. u marry the entire family, u get bogged down by commitments and chained to a job u hate, u get driven mad by ur own flesh and blood..

my take? stay single & RICH AND HAVE COMMITMENT FREE FLINGS..

if one has to marry, choose one that is filthy rich - no commitment issues.. and oh yes, not in danger of going bankrupt and turning penniless.. (but u have to work extra hard to keep that man's eyes on u alone.) This way, u get to enjoy a tai tai life, spend as much money as u like, no need to slog for a salary to pay the bills.. and yes.. i hate to say this.. but it is true after all..

LOVE IS THE LOWEST RANK OF IMPORTANCE..cos, love fades..especially in the face of the daily grind of our lives..

now, since i had fallen into the pit with a glance at a miserable 0..3 carat ring, and tied myself further into this prison with 2 children.. and a seeming lack of communication with the other half.. won't be surprised if he seeking comfort from the crazy ice queen at home in the arms of another woman..what can i do?

wat is the way out? i am a mental case, i hug my girl in public but can possibly whack her senseless in private if i really go bonkers.. she aint safe with me..

divorce? thought about it.. useless..no job, no patience with my kids, kids being attached to in laws..unless i canwalk away from it all? can i bear to do that??

jadelle is insecure and in her terrible twos..

i am typing this feeling very down.. since ashton's arrival.. she has been feeling insecure and attention seeking from us and her grandparents and auntie..

yet, when she is sweet, she asked about Ashton and ask to sleep next to him etc.. i see her kissing him also..

but, her manner of seeking attention and getting her own way: screaming and crying and flailing her arms around and kicking and slapping people.. is driving me crazy..

Why does she do that? When she wants something, she juz turn on the tap.. was it because her grandparents give in to her tears too much and she keep pushing the limit? or was it a manner of seeking attention?

She knows that she has to share my attention with Ash. and she demands full attention from her grandma and auntie.

Recently, she has been demanding the items her auntie bought and meant to give her own son, Maderick. Is this her way to get the attention of her aunt to herself? to feel wanted? or is it just simply terrible twos?

When we do not give in, or the request is simply not achievable, no amount of reasoning is accepted by her and she starts throwing her tantrums and turning on the tap.

yes, i know it sounds exactly like me.. she behaved exactly like me when i was young.. what did my mum do? told me off in a firm and no nonsense voice to stop yelling.. and when that fails, she slapped me..

i told myself not to do that, to be patient, but i am at the brink of my sanity.. this week, i did the following to her:

slapped her face 4x
spanked her butt 5x
hit her hands 5x
cleaned her face agressively with a towel until marks appeared..
shouted at her in loud voices
threatened her to behave by warning that privileges will be removed.

AK also been behaving rather aggressively to her. he just flipped/ threw her on the bed after she vomitted and kept crying nonstop and refused to wear a particular pants..

she got headlice from her classmates.. we are trying to resolve this and it has been a very stressful period for me..

When Ashton and Jadelle both screamed.. i yelled at them and screamed and hit and whack back..

it is of no help that:

1) my relatives shunned me and indirectly blamed me for putting them in danger of contacting headlice..
2) i still have no luck in hunting for a new job
3) i feel so tired from breastfeeding, pumping (so little i can pump out.), handling jadelle and latching Ashton on every 2 hrs, instructing the maid, listen to nonsense from PIL, ferrying everyone to PIL place every morning, bring jadelle to school etc.
4) AK been yelling at me about my parenting method.

I dun think i can cope now.. my mind is full of negative stuff.. i feel despair.. what happened to my sweet girl? i can see in her eyes she dun want me already..

Already, she dun feel like my daughter, more like my MIL's grandaughter..

i wish i can die and leave everything behind in peace.....maybe i get peace of mind?

or maybe, i can leave all behind.. i dun think MIL will ever let me take care of their grandchildren if i ever file a divorce with AK..

Ashton went shopping with mummy... and can hold a rattle!

Baby Ash is growing up fast.. where did the time go?? Already, he can grasp his rattle well.. coos to Jade & us, put his hands on my chest when milkflow is slow and whines when he see me (his beloved pacifier) not carrying him..

We went Orchard today.. met some of the Jan 09 mummies.. whew.. not easy to sling him in MIM sling now!! gotta convert to bjorn and if go out with him alone, i will bring stroller!!

taxi from orchard to home.. 6 sgd..

had a coffee @ Dome.. as usual, my beloved macchiato.. wonders when can i be tai tai permanently.. as in.. got spare moolah to spend without wondering about budgeting for the family.. dream on..

time flies by.. ash iz 9 weeks..

Gathering of Jan 2009 babies - Ashton's 1st appearance..


on his new bunk bed..


sleeping in his beloved maxi cosi car seat on the zapp frame..


jalan @ kallang leisure park..




have been lazy...not been blogging as i should be...

Ashton is growing well and more alert.. he can lift up his head very strongly today while on tummy time..

and he started to smile at us @ 7 weeks old.. quite early!

We also made his passport..ready to go hong kong..

he is more talkative now.. and recognise me well.. and he seemed addicted to my breast.. i latch him mostly. and this round managed to store 1 pack a day..of about 120ml to 180ml on average..

now fridge got 40 packs.. no space liaoz..

full month celebration part 2..Jadelle adapting to school..

it was fun to see our friends.. and, i must admit that it was better to split the groups.. more manageable.

food from YLS ain't that great. not going to cater from there again.

AShton was a good boy and slept alot. great grandma and granduncles all saw, carried him etc. and jadelle's friends came over to play too..

Since confinement is over, we started to port maid, me, jadelle, ashton & all the barang barang over to MIL's place during weekdays.

And i brought jadelle to school... Monday was terrible.. she screamed when i left after lunch, and when i returned 1.5 hrs later.. she was still screaming

Tuesday the duration was even longer..i left before lunch.. and returned after playground time was over.. she hanged onto the granny of another boy.. must be remind her of grandma.

During the missing times, i was expressing milk inthe toilet.. and i peeked at her all the way..

By Thursday, she was actually better.. though she still cries when i drop her off.. but when we wait for her after school, she comes out smiling..

How i bring her? by bus! it was an adventure to her.. i tried different routes.. most convenient is to take bus 31 & 857 and cross over the overhead bridge. not too hot! and sheltered!

Ashton's full month celebration part 1 over!

Today, went for breakfast at Mac. though i still cannot eat normal food, i still can take bread & milo? so end up eating hotcakes. but sneaked a few mouthfuls of hash browns.. and chilli..keke.

then went home, rest, pumped, put jadelle to rest for her noon nap,then arrived blk 13 about 5:30pm. AK's relatives started arriving already.

comments heard:
1) Baby got high nose
2) Why i lose weight so fast
3) Ashton look like who?

Jadelle played and fought and ran about, with a running nose. Ashton? He drank and cried and poo.. and was carried by the maid in between.

Reached home so late.. and tired..

Jadelle just vomitted out her phlegm, Ashton whimpering away.. and i have a blocked duct!! ouch!!

Part 2 celebration tomorrow. i think i will be tired..

finishing confinement!!

Today, will wipe clean everything with the pomelo leaves.. bathe with it.. and change all bedsheets.. then will go pray and i am done with confinement! though still must control my diet..

Full month celebration over 2 days! Sat & Sunday!

Ashton's ear is getting better.. and PD called to say not Step B infection, so just got to keep things clean..

Maid broke down yesterday. Apparently, she understand cantonese and mandarin & overheard comments made by FIL about her transmitting bacteria to Ashton.. which is totally uncalled for accusation. She was frightened that I will send her back! And broke down when i was grappling with 2 screaming kids, trying to ask her to measure out medication for Ashton ( i asked her abit crossly to tilt the bottle to get the medication into the syringe).. Yikes!!!

Later on, i explained to her i am anxious and trying to cope with the situation but did not mean anything.

Sigh.. Another infection.. poor Ashton now has ear infection..

Geez... this is getting worrying.. Ashton gets a new infection every week? even when he was on augmentin, one of the stronger antibiotics.. this round, his ear... PD Dr. Simon Ng suspects that one of us is a Step B carrier who might be making him prone to infection.. or.. if not, we have to look closer at his immune system..we wait for medical report on the swab test and see how..

PIL getting extremely worried and nervous. Immediately blamed on the new maid not cleaning his ears dry after bath and possibly bringing in germs from her village and might be the step B carrier. FIL acts over protective. Ask me to bath Ashton myself, and put him inside my room etc. I feel that it is wrong to blame the maid. afterall, step b carriers can be created from people who went to hospitals.. this includes me, AK, his dad.. almost ANYONE..

Jadelle miss school today. MIL gave excuse about her swollen leg (insect bite) and brought her to see GP. i called up school. spoke to principal. Apparently school teachers are aware of MIL negative impression and say that it makes it harder for jadelle to integrate into the school program.

They denied alleged accusations of sand fly bites from the school which possibly might caused all the insect bites on jade's face & legs etc.. and insisted temperature checks and checks for HFMD is all in place. Also, Principal insisted that they clean their facilities very vigilantly, inspite of appearance of the playground.

Looks like MIL is biased. likely also resentful, due to the distance etc and travelling. i have decided to bring jadelle there next week myself and integrate her myself. at least i have 4 months.. then i decide again..

Ashton at 3 weeks 2 days

Mum says he looks like me when i was that tiny ...hmm....

My thoughts on my confinement.. now that it is almost ending!!

This round has been more relaxing and less stressful, without a CL around, more familiar with BF and a more cooperative Ashton..

Yet, at times, i feel strained too.. especially with Jadelle also demanding my attention. Strangely, both demand for milk at same timing, and both wants my attention one after another.. When jadelle finally sleeps,Ashton will wake up and cry for his turn, when Ashton finally sleeps, Jadelle will cry for attention etc..They even planned their poo-ing one after another!!

I feel like octopus! And Jadelle being in her terrible twos and insecure state.. it really strenous on me and AK..

AK tried to help, but it seems he is so tired.. many times in the middle of the night, i will be latching Ashton on, patting jadelle and almost falling off the bed from the tiredness.. and the Bed is really too small for 4 pax! I am so fearful that Ashton will roll off 1 night!

Jadelle's into her terrible twos...driving daddy & mummy nuts!!

We spent our weekend tell her NO so many times, it might have hit 100 times! This morning was ultimate.. somehow, she got her hands on the 100% aloe vera gel, opened it up, and squeezed it onto her face and mouth..

i was sleeping like a pig when suddenly this angelic voice goes.." mummy, mummy!! arrgghh arrghhhh!!"... i opened my eyes, peered at her and jumped up in fright cos the aloe vera gel was in her hands, half its contents gone, and she pointed to her mouth and started to wail..

YIKES!!

grabbed her, almost dragging her into the toilet, and shouting at her for being so silly..starting wiping her face and hands and rinsing her mouth.. the whole time i was scolding her, telling her that it is poisonous (which it wasn't, phew..) and things cannot be put into th mouth without asking us..

After i calmed & cooled down and regretted my reaction, which by then, the princess was already frightened to bits and started sobbing.. told her if she like it so much, i can pour the balance into her mouth.. and she shook her head vigorously NO, NO!!

When i have calmed down, i explained to her that she scared me and frightened me and cos i am afraid she swallowed the gel, i have to react fast to rinse it out and told her not to swallow creams that is on the baby trolley but to ask us first.

Jadelle understood every single word....... still amazed at her speech growth and analytic skills.

I then went on to ask her why mummy scold her and why jadelle cry? she said cos jadelle eat the aloe vera gel..

Sigh.. she was just being curious...... but, oh dear, the cat calling the kettle black.. what about me inserting the battery into my nose when i was 6 and frightening Uncle Paul almost to death??

Really, like mother like daughter... hmm..i wonder if Grandma Josephine was ever that naughty & curious.. just she kept it well hidden.. this character must have come from my mum or dad!

back to PD agan.. 3rd time in 2 weeks since his birth.. this round for neonatal breast Mastitis!!

My poor son.. seen the PD 3 times since birth!

1st was the regular visit for jaundice - passed
2nd was for the horrible pustales around his eyes..
and now, for neonatal breast mastitis! We saw a swelling on his nipple, including some pus on Thursday, which we did not notice on Wednesday.. alarmed, the maids rush to tell me.. initially i that that it was a new pustale located at the most awkward location.. yet, something tells me that the pus is so small, but the swelling behind it, so big.. maybe better return to the PD..

Dr. Simon Ng was fast.. he took a look and announced neonatal mastitis = breast infection from blocked milk ducts! i was stunned.. huh??

I knew that infants have milk in their breasts.. in the 1st few weeks of life.. but blocked ducts? and even worse, infection?

He was give Augmentin! i was arrghhh? So strong?? I still know my drugs.. goes to show..but he said that for infants with this, this is most appropriate medication.

and was asked to apply the cream which he gave us for the pustales.. sigh..

Mom concludes that it is the playpen assembly during confinement at work.. suggested to dismantle it but, Ashton will sleep where? dilemma!! My heart hurts to see my wee little boy wincing in pain when i feel around his infected nipple.. he is a brave boy..

Getting to know my son more these 3 weeks had been fun.. he takes after AK in behaviour, patterns.. sneezes like him too.. normally, at least twice when he kanna a sneeze attack..

He is a quiet and not so demanding baby so far.. but once provoked, really give us his super loud wails as if to prove his point!

He loves to sleep next to me at night! And if i put him back to playpen, he will fussed to be carried!

Ashton got neonatal mastitis.

Jadelle starts school! and came home with bites all over her face!

My girl starts school liaoz.. it was chaotic and mummy wasn't around.. as she is still stuck in confinement..

seems that my MIL thinks the school sucks.. dirty (mouldy overalls?) and teachers bo chap when the kids fight.. and MIL complains that the afternoon sun is bad for the kids.. i paid more then 1k for this type of quality???

seems like MIL thinks that JG is better?

wish i was there.. but anyway, she play sand on 1st day.. (MIL complain sand is dirty!) and next day, she had BITES and swelling all over her face & eyes! sob sob...

i think it is sand fly bites! i just called the school to complain.. hope they will clean up their act.

really disappointed..

oh, Ashton's pustales are recovering well, and he is going through growth spurt also.. been a tiring night for me..

now planning for his full month party..

Sleeping Ashton

Ashton is 12 days old..

time flies when one is so busy.. DS is now 12 days.. but he developed pustales.. look like pimple outbreak!! n so near his eyes....painful! these are supposed to be normal, but his is very big and numerous and spreads all over face, back, body, eyelids... sob sob..

even jadelle is concerned.. ask me to put cream on didi's eyelids!

we have been to PD, even he got a shock.. but still insist iz normal. just that he had it really bad. & was given cream to apply to the areas around the eyes, as well as areas on his body & neck..

other then this, he has been a good baby.. latching every 2-3 hrs and sleeping in between.. pooing & wee wee as per normal.. i can grab 3-4 hrs of sleep in between at night.. about 1am to 5am..he wakes up 1am, 4am, 6am and 8:30am.. but not much interrupted, as when i am sleepy, i juz give up and ly down and feeding him at the same time..

so different from jadelle's 1st 2 weeks of life!

Aside from latching him, i am expressing on average an extra 70-90ml every day... this amount, i only give him when he is really fussing.. otherwise, trying to boost up supply and ensure i have advance supply in excess for him..

things are so much easier this round..

1st day and night at home with Ashton..

Ashton's home finally.. he had to stay one more night as he had mild jaundice.. was relieved when his level dropped and allowed to come home..

as he did not poo much initially, AK & I decide to let him take abit of FM in hospital, while i try to express colostrum/ EBM..

he came home sleepy leh.. looks like 60ml is too much for him..lasted him from 8:45am to 1pm!

we had an uneventful night. latched him every 2-3 hrs.. (each breast). his last feed @ 12am, i latch him 2 sides so that he can sleep abit longer..and his next feed was dragged until 5am. with a poo & wee wee in between.. crossing fingers that this will continue..

Maid wise, so far so good.. maybe i ain't demanding much lah..

now blogging as i am using my medela freestyle.. hmm.. suction is good.. but but.....milk supply still stuck inside breasts.. can feel the lumps still.. sigh.. each time expressing only 20-30ml, even on a full breast.. why like this huh? i really tried liaoz.. still cannot, i pump only when i go back work liaoz.. sigh..

visiting time.. and jadelle's first view of her brother..

After sending out announcement messages.. visitors start arriving.. who came?

jason, priscillia, joanne, mum, dad, francis, cynthia, huaqing, wenqi, lilian, hing, maderick, AK's parents.. nora.. and of course, the most important visitor to us at this point, JADELLE...

asked wenqi & gang to help take pictures and to hide the baby first.. so that i won't be carrying baby when she comes in..

She was so happy to see me.. i asked her to touch my tummy.. ask her where is didi? then i whispered to her that doctor persuaded didi to come out already. and he is ready to meet his big sister.. and that he bought a present for her.. does she want to know where he is? she stared around, sitting next to me.. my girl's eyes were so big..

then AK pushed in the baby with a present inside meant for jadelle.. he told jadelle that she has a present for didi also.. and say that didi has a present for her.. does she want to give didi her present?

she nod her head.. and we told her that didi also has present for her.. does she want to know wat didi give her?

she nod yes.. and took it.. and say thanks to didi.. and i helped her open it up..

she like the goofy baby towel.. and later on, we taught her how to carry didi.. mum helped.. she kissed him! i was soo relieved.. hope this last..

then when Ashton start to wail.. she exclaimed.. don't cry!! we all laughed.. i hug her and praised her..

NEXT Hurdle: her acceptance of me breastfeeding the baby..

I ask her.. jadelle how? didi so small? how are we going to feed him? he need energy to carry milk bottle.. and milk bottle too big now..

i ask her ok to feed milk milk? she say yes.. feed milk! i ask her: but where to get milk from? she looked around for milk powder.. so i said.. remember when u baby, where you drink milk from? so can mummy feed didi nan nan? she nod yes..

Drew the curtains. i latched the baby as he was crying.. and i ask jadelle, is this correct? u tell didi.. he still learning..jadelle nod head yes.. correct.. and asked to carry.. so i tell her still not yet drink finish.. wait a while..

she left me and didi behind, saying good night.. and knowing she will come find me tomorrow.. i miss my princess already..

Announcing baby Ashton's arrival...@ week 38, 5 days..

I have yet to update about the past week's event, and have already pop.. so much happened this last week..

Jadelle was ill with phlegm and running nose.. and cried for me at night and vomit out phlegm at night..

Then maid arrived on Saturday.. so much to teach her..

Sunday was reunion's dinner with AK's extended family.. we joked about me eating the good stuff before i pop.. ate crab, yusheng, seafood etc.

Observed Nora, my new maid.. abit slow and not much detail about caring for my girl.. but need to give her time, only 2nd day.

Hope Lily can help out more when i am back home.

my birth story:

1:30am: tummy ache.. no pass motion past few days.. cleared my bowels 2x.. but still feel like going toilet..

6+am: wake up to go toilet again... poo another 4x.. but still feel unclear.. and totally unlike jadelle's time of menstrual cramps..did not associated it with contractions.. until.. the feeling stretched until the spine..

7:30am: Woke up AK, he was due to wake up for work anyway.. "dear, i think i having contractions leh.. past 1 hr got min. 6-8 times.."

but not sure of how regular it was, so asked him to shower n i monitor.. 7 minutes interval..

8am: called gynae for advice.. pretty confirmed it is contractions! but no show, no water bag bursting.. by this time, Jadelle has woken and knew that something was up! she had abit of biscuits with mummy..who gobbled down cereal oats and bird's nest..

9am: by this time, Lily and AK's parents came over already.. we gave Lily a list of instructions to show Nora basic stuff done in blk 38... hope we don't overwhelm her..

9:45am- 10am: we leave blk 38.. Jadelle cried.. wants mummy to go with her to ye ye's car.. mummy whispered to jadelle that doctor wants to help didi to come out from mummy's tummy.. so we go find doctor first.. later, didi will say hi to her..

10:30am: told AK to turn into Geylang Bahru hawker centre.. it's my last chance to grab watever i want to eat! Ate Thai coconut, mee rubus, chwee kueh.. and suddenly we both missed Jadelle.. feels upset without her being around.. until contractions hit.. every 6-7 minutes.. AK & I contemplated going to the clinic first or straight to Mt. A..

11am: decided to go straight to mt. A.. by then, i was moaning softly and grabbing AK when contractions hit.. every 5-6 minutes.. but still tolerable.. checked into delivery suite 8.. 5 cm dilated! Nurse say it's my last chance to decide for Happidural or not.. i knew i can go without it.. but was afraid that i will push too early.. the urge to poo.. very strong.. so i opted for it.. but this time, not much time to rest..told anesthesist about last round's event to warn him.. he was confident not due to epidural.. i ask for normal dosage.

12 noon: AK start to get nervous..he estimated another 3-4 hrs?

12:30pm: Chandra checked me.. burst water bag.. Iwas surprised at the lack of water.. so much for expecting a gush like jadelle's time into the toiletbowl!

1:45pm: suddenly felt contractions through the epidural.. was surprised.. as the screen did not show any contractions.. was very puzzled.. intercom the nurse.. she checked..10 cm dilated.. flurry of activity suddenly.. all nurses started to panic and get busy... my bladder was super full from the coconut.. and um, caught the nurse by surprise.. the floor was wet before she can capture it properly into the urine bag..

was quickly taught how to push..

next wave..push push push.. was surprised.. it all came back naturally.. baby head became juz behind perinium..

one more wave.. push push push.. every one got excited..

another wave.. chandras say it is going very well..

and another wave.. chandras say likely he can stretch me without episiotomy.. ask me to push gently.. but he overmotivated me.. so happy can go without episiotomy.. i push too hard.. and got a little tear.. everyone got a scare.. thought the baby will fly out.. darn! stitches again! heng this round iz small stitch!

1:56pm: Baby Ashton Kwok arrived! 3.020 kg, 47cm tall, double eyelids.. screaming into the world.. Chandras put him on my lap.. this round, i am much more lucid.. saw my boy arrived. saw the placenta.. didn't know it was so small..and saw umbilical cord.. i thought i saw it around his shoulder..

AK asked gynae to cut the cord.. everyone was puzzled and he explained that he gotta be fair to Jadelle as he did not have the chance to cut her cord.. OOHH... the labour ward's team's reaction... AK was so relieved that this round was so smooth..

i latched Ashton's on once the epidural tubes were removed.. he is a good learner.. looks like i dun need to pump so much if i want.. will try to do tandem pumping to increase milk storage supply.. otherwise, i will be darn tired in the months ahead.. not used to carrying a 3+kg baby again..

We rested and waited nervously for jadelle to come.. next story..