Life is full of choices and right now, i wish i can choose not to return to work.. At the beginning, i did think that i would relish returning to work, after staying at home for 3 months looking after baby..Yet, i survived and to my surprise, discover that I enjoy my time with my girl, and i did not flare up as often as i thought i would, given my past experience with my siblings and my character (same as my dear mummy!)
Yet, now, with the looming prospect of returning to the working ranks, and depositing my girl @ my MIL's place.. hmm.. many thoughts are flowing through my brain.
I worry, for instance that my MIL's insistence on sarong cradle will result in my girl craving to be rocked every second (even at night, with my hand permanently stuck onto the sarong cradle and rocking it!), the pacifier, depositing Jadelle in front of the TV acting as a temporary nanny.. and in the process, hampers her attention development and eye sight!
I wonder too, if my PIL's poor command of language will affect her development? What about interaction with other kids?
And will she come to resent me as i resent my mum working when i was younger? Life sucks in that, i have limited control in that aspect over my own child.. The best situation is to look after her myself with a maid helping me out! But, that option, is impossible right now.. too much to give up..
Most of all, will she prefer other caregivers instead of us, the parents?
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