Since my last posting, my confinement nanny suggest that we bath baby with the leaf and see if it will calm her down. She said that maybe Jadelle is over stimulated especially if carried by many people.. and guess what?
Today is the 2nd day since I was trying to crack her screaming code.. and she is back to normal! Hmm izzit a coincidence?
today, Jadelle is 19 days old.. and she is changing very fast.. when she drinks her milk, she can open her eyes super big and look at me.. and even know how to complain when milk flow isn't to her liking! She seems to be more alert now.. responding to her cries immediately also helped. She no longer wake up screaming and wailing loudly. Crossing my fingers now..
She doesn't like it if we put her down in her cot once she fell asleep after her milk and will wake up and whimper. So, my nanny have to cuddle her until she falls into a deeper sleep before putting her gently down and even then she will have to keep close and pat pat pat her until she is assured.. I hope i can do as well when i am left alone with her!
Haven't bathe her yet too.. do i still remember how to? i hope so..
How am i? i get really emotional over the smallest things which can trigger tears.. but AK has been a great support.. juz thinking about some stuff that is bothering me can drive me to tears. How weak is that, Jasmine? But, i attribute it to the hormones lah..
I really wonder how much to pay my nanny now.. she doesn't know much about BF and what soups to cook to help me. Can't even massage my breasts.. but she does all the housework n cooking n cleaning lah, but i am the one waking up at night to feed her, though she help me pat Jadelle to sleep (which i am thankful for..). My nanny, as expected is pro- FM, so, 1st week, she plus EVERYONE was trying to tell me give Jadelle formula milk and not be so hard on myself to latch her on even at night..
I lashed out at my M, when she queried is it bb crying constantly cos i got no milk. and until today, she has been giving me the cold shoulder and even when i consulted her about the full month cakes, she tell me no comments and ask me to ask my grandma myself?
My MIL too, been asking me about my milk supply.. GGRHHH... what's wrong with these people? Like i gonna starve my girl? Already not feeling good about the confinement rules about not bathing and i am so SICK of ngor hee, plus hormones all crashing, plus stress of baby plus so yucky over my flabby tummy (SOB!) and they come and pile on the stress on me??
These people are concerned, but they don't realise they add stress to me.. Thank god i don't stay with my MIL now.. and Thank God for AK..... Did i mentioned he is the best thing to happen to me??
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
cracking the crying code..
Today, Jadelle is 17 days old.. and her mum n daddy are probably hitting few hundred years old, since her incessant crying starts 3 days again from 1pm onwards until evening..
It is hard to decipher her cries. I can't figure out if she is hungry, thirsty, wants comfort or what..
her typical pattern these 3 days are:
12 noon: instead of feeding for 1 hr, she feeds for 30 min in total, 15 min each side before nodding into a light sleep, where she smiles and frowns and moves.
1pm: she wake up after only max 1/2 hr nap and cries again. And we have to carry her and cuddle her.
2 pm: by this time or earlier, her crying becomes insistent and loud and her face turns red. Her rooting reflex kicks in and i feed her again.
2:30pm: she falls asleep again! after feeding for only 30min?
3:15 - 3:30pm: she cries again.. and the carrying and cuddling starts
3:45- 4pm: feeding again for again 30min.. my breast still feels full leh!
4:45pm: her crying becomes incessant.. i put her to nurse again, after which, 10-15 min later, her suckling becomes comfort suckling and i have to unlatch her. She cries again within 10 min of unlatching..process repeats.
7:30pm: mummy has no rest and getting tired as BB repeats her routine..Her cries get louder and more inconsolable as evening prolongs.. it will reach a stage where even nursing her doesn't comfort her!
9:30pm: finally she MAY nurse longer then 30 min.. (if i still have milk left after all the comfort nursing she did, otherwise, Formula milk, here we come!)
12-1am: Another hour of nursing, following which she falls asleep for 2 hrs..
3-4am: another nursing for 1 hr.. falls asleep for ~2 hrs again..
6-7 am: another nursing for 45 min - 1 hr.. falls asleep fast after putting her down in the cot
9:30 - 10am: another round of nursing @ 3 hr interval
12pm: final round of nursing @ 3 hr interval before her pattern changes to 1.5 - 2 hr interval..
And the cycle repeats...
i am going crazy liaoz.. now, i try to rest as much as possible at night and in the morning b4 12 noon.. bracing myself for the evenings..
Been exploring whether she is going through cluster feeding or izzit colic.. still undecided..
It is hard to decipher her cries. I can't figure out if she is hungry, thirsty, wants comfort or what..
her typical pattern these 3 days are:
12 noon: instead of feeding for 1 hr, she feeds for 30 min in total, 15 min each side before nodding into a light sleep, where she smiles and frowns and moves.
1pm: she wake up after only max 1/2 hr nap and cries again. And we have to carry her and cuddle her.
2 pm: by this time or earlier, her crying becomes insistent and loud and her face turns red. Her rooting reflex kicks in and i feed her again.
2:30pm: she falls asleep again! after feeding for only 30min?
3:15 - 3:30pm: she cries again.. and the carrying and cuddling starts
3:45- 4pm: feeding again for again 30min.. my breast still feels full leh!
4:45pm: her crying becomes incessant.. i put her to nurse again, after which, 10-15 min later, her suckling becomes comfort suckling and i have to unlatch her. She cries again within 10 min of unlatching..process repeats.
7:30pm: mummy has no rest and getting tired as BB repeats her routine..Her cries get louder and more inconsolable as evening prolongs.. it will reach a stage where even nursing her doesn't comfort her!
9:30pm: finally she MAY nurse longer then 30 min.. (if i still have milk left after all the comfort nursing she did, otherwise, Formula milk, here we come!)
12-1am: Another hour of nursing, following which she falls asleep for 2 hrs..
3-4am: another nursing for 1 hr.. falls asleep for ~2 hrs again..
6-7 am: another nursing for 45 min - 1 hr.. falls asleep fast after putting her down in the cot
9:30 - 10am: another round of nursing @ 3 hr interval
12pm: final round of nursing @ 3 hr interval before her pattern changes to 1.5 - 2 hr interval..
And the cycle repeats...
i am going crazy liaoz.. now, i try to rest as much as possible at night and in the morning b4 12 noon.. bracing myself for the evenings..
Been exploring whether she is going through cluster feeding or izzit colic.. still undecided..
Monday, September 11, 2006
Life after delivering Jadelle..
What's life like now for me?
The worst part is probably the confinement rules.. i hate the parts of not bathing whenever i like, especially after feeding baby and i get all sweaty and sticky and my rashes come out!
Baby latches on fine.. and wakes up for feeds every 1 - 3 hrs interval.. as she feed for min 20 minutes per breast, i have achy arms now..and backache n a lack of sleep.. i realise i am exremely sensitive to her cry and will wake up immediately to feed her.. i can now differentiate her hunger cries liaoz.. but still not sure when she juz need cuddling. breastfeeding her is extremely satisfying but i can't seem to pump my milk out.. i get so stressed when i see the pump bottle.. get only max. 10ml after every nursing.. hope things will improve..otherwise, i dunno how to go back to work..
so far, i ventured out and nursed her both times.. once to the paediatrician and another to the gynae.. feels weird, but dun care lah.. bb more important.. today iz my 10th day of confinement... 20 days to go.. sigh..
The worst part is probably the confinement rules.. i hate the parts of not bathing whenever i like, especially after feeding baby and i get all sweaty and sticky and my rashes come out!
Baby latches on fine.. and wakes up for feeds every 1 - 3 hrs interval.. as she feed for min 20 minutes per breast, i have achy arms now..and backache n a lack of sleep.. i realise i am exremely sensitive to her cry and will wake up immediately to feed her.. i can now differentiate her hunger cries liaoz.. but still not sure when she juz need cuddling. breastfeeding her is extremely satisfying but i can't seem to pump my milk out.. i get so stressed when i see the pump bottle.. get only max. 10ml after every nursing.. hope things will improve..otherwise, i dunno how to go back to work..
so far, i ventured out and nursed her both times.. once to the paediatrician and another to the gynae.. feels weird, but dun care lah.. bb more important.. today iz my 10th day of confinement... 20 days to go.. sigh..
Friday, September 08, 2006
Jadelle's first visit to PD
We went for the scheduled check up for my princess today @ 9:45am to follow up on her jaundice level etc.
Breastfed her, then fed her a small amount of formula milk to ensure she won't yell the place down for milk @ PD..
Who knows? PD had to attend to an emergency case @ the ward and we had to wait until 10:30am before we can see him.. in the meantime, our princess, who must have been going through her first growth spurt, decides she wants more food and started to cry and search for food! Poor AK, keep telling her he got no milk for her..
Luckily, i decided to wear a nursing bra & top, so we borrowed the changing/ nursing room from the PD and nursed her on 1 side for like 10 minutes..
Just nice, PD came back to the clinic and we were next in line. Took her weight and she regained her birth weight.. On the 3rd day, she weigh 3.07kg, down from her birth weight of 3.19kg. But today, she weighs 3.2kg.. which means that we have been doing something right..
Her motion has improved and has changed in colour, which PD said is a good sign, that she is digesting my breastmilk. Her jaundice is still present, but not too bad. PD asked us to monitor that it doesn't spread downwards and gets worse after 1 week..
Her extra heart mummur? It's GONE! PD said he totally cannot hear it anymore. Just to be sure, we will keep the cardiologist's appointment to ease my worries.
PD said he will be surprised if her motion and urine doesn't improve in frequency within a week, and she is exhibiting good signs.
We were so pleased to hear that.. have been wondering if i was too stubborn about breastfeeding her totally as much as i can cope.. and my in laws keep asking me to give her water to drink.. which the PD 100% objected as it interfere with her cues of hunger and affect her absorption of nutrients..
She is now on 100% breastfeeding and only latch on.. i can't seem to pump out much still.. nevertheless, her motion indicates to me she is having enough for the moment and i refuse to get stressed over the amount i pump out.. will try to stimulate after every feed to increase my milk flow.. since whatever i pump out is so little, not going to store it.. (its like only a teaspoon now from both breasts!)
AK been a great support this week.. will miss him when he goes back to work next week.. Hope i don't start crying manz.. so far so good though..
Took my weight @ PD there.. i weigh 50kg now.. so, 6 kg to go.
I will start my massage on the 14th sept at home.. in the meantime, my auntie will be making for me my bengkung to wrap around my tummy after the jamu herb applications..our indonesian tradition.. hope it helps to get rid of that tummy!
Its really hot @ home, though i do have natural wind from the windows (THANK GOD!). I am not allowed to blow aircon/ fan..and even though i wipe myself down with ricewine and hot water.. after every hot meal.. i perspire like mad.. i do make an effort to clean before i feed baby though.. hope all will be ok..
Breastfed her, then fed her a small amount of formula milk to ensure she won't yell the place down for milk @ PD..
Who knows? PD had to attend to an emergency case @ the ward and we had to wait until 10:30am before we can see him.. in the meantime, our princess, who must have been going through her first growth spurt, decides she wants more food and started to cry and search for food! Poor AK, keep telling her he got no milk for her..
Luckily, i decided to wear a nursing bra & top, so we borrowed the changing/ nursing room from the PD and nursed her on 1 side for like 10 minutes..
Just nice, PD came back to the clinic and we were next in line. Took her weight and she regained her birth weight.. On the 3rd day, she weigh 3.07kg, down from her birth weight of 3.19kg. But today, she weighs 3.2kg.. which means that we have been doing something right..
Her motion has improved and has changed in colour, which PD said is a good sign, that she is digesting my breastmilk. Her jaundice is still present, but not too bad. PD asked us to monitor that it doesn't spread downwards and gets worse after 1 week..
Her extra heart mummur? It's GONE! PD said he totally cannot hear it anymore. Just to be sure, we will keep the cardiologist's appointment to ease my worries.
PD said he will be surprised if her motion and urine doesn't improve in frequency within a week, and she is exhibiting good signs.
We were so pleased to hear that.. have been wondering if i was too stubborn about breastfeeding her totally as much as i can cope.. and my in laws keep asking me to give her water to drink.. which the PD 100% objected as it interfere with her cues of hunger and affect her absorption of nutrients..
She is now on 100% breastfeeding and only latch on.. i can't seem to pump out much still.. nevertheless, her motion indicates to me she is having enough for the moment and i refuse to get stressed over the amount i pump out.. will try to stimulate after every feed to increase my milk flow.. since whatever i pump out is so little, not going to store it.. (its like only a teaspoon now from both breasts!)
AK been a great support this week.. will miss him when he goes back to work next week.. Hope i don't start crying manz.. so far so good though..
Took my weight @ PD there.. i weigh 50kg now.. so, 6 kg to go.
I will start my massage on the 14th sept at home.. in the meantime, my auntie will be making for me my bengkung to wrap around my tummy after the jamu herb applications..our indonesian tradition.. hope it helps to get rid of that tummy!
Its really hot @ home, though i do have natural wind from the windows (THANK GOD!). I am not allowed to blow aircon/ fan..and even though i wipe myself down with ricewine and hot water.. after every hot meal.. i perspire like mad.. i do make an effort to clean before i feed baby though.. hope all will be ok..
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
My birth Story..
wow, it sure is a long story.. hang on!
3rd September, 2006
~2am: played finish mj.. can't sleep so chatted with AK
~4am: tummy ache.. did some big biz and noticed blood flowing out.. also, had "urine incontinence".. aa huge gush of water came out.. later on, realised it was my water bag.. :P.. Called up Gynae.. gynae advised us to make our way slowly to Mt. Alvernia..
~4:30am: We left our place, after taking a shower and some photos.. started having mild menstrual cramping like pain every 5 minutes.. so.. those are what contractions feel like..
5am: reach Mt. A's labour ward and "checked in". Was given enema to pass out all the motion left in my system... contractions starts to get stronger..
10am: gynae arrived.. I was only 3-4cm dilated. Put on oxytoxin drip to make the contractions stronger. The contractions peaked @ 130 strength.. AK & I noticed that when the contractions strengthened, baby's heartbeat will drop.. got a little worried and starting talking to her. Still can tahan the contractions, with the help of the yoga breathing techniques..
2pm: still only 4cm dilated.. contractions @ > 100 strength is coming in every 2 minutes. Yoga breathing techniques still helping.. at peak of the contractions, i breathe in a little of the gas.. it does take the edge off the pain a little. Baby's heartbeat still drops @ peak of contractions.. i was worried and hope that baby isn't too distressed.. cos that will lead her to pass motion in the womb. decide to take epidural, as i don't know how long it will take.. although still can cope with the pain.. i was crossing my fingers and hoping that the epidural will allow me to dilate faster and get baby out ASAP..
4pm: 6cm dilated. The mid wife helped to stretch my cervix wider..
5:30pm: Gynae arrived and i am 10 cm dilated.. we started to push.. The epidural has worn off a little and i can feel every contraction.. though not super pain.. the pushing was tough.. i can't push 4x within 1 contraction.. it made me breathless and faint..
6pm: Gynae said the head can be seen.. he needs to use vacuum as bb is still not facing my spine.. a few times, the vacuum came off.. and um.. blood splattered all over the nurses, AK, gynae n me..the nurses was asking each other whether got kanna their hairband boh..
6:55pm: Gynae holds open my cervix.. didn't use the vacuum anymore and ask me to push really hard and out pops Jadelle and placed on my lap.. i nearly cried.. it was so unbelieveable..
7-7:15pm: baby was examined, weight taken.. PD came.. i vomited and kanna my hair.. (damn it!). muz be due to the epidural.. was given something in my drip to stop the vomitting..
7:20pm: I start to feel really lousy.. the feeling was like i reach the end of the world, i can't revert to my pre pregancy stage, i felt like dying and it seems like if i black out.. that's it.. to prevent myself slipping further into this state.. i voiced out how i feel.. immediately, everyone's attention was on me.. AK ask me if i wanted to hold the baby, i told him to throw the baby out and told him it is all his fault! arrgghh.. think i even mentioned that i wanted to die.. and all this in the midst of delivering my placenta!
8pm: Gynae starts to stitch me up. I was still not myself.. and told him i want to go home and get off the bed now.. even moved my legs which is still heavy with the epidural medication..
9pm: the allergic reaction the the anti vomitting drug wearing off.. and i feel more like myself.. back aches.. and i kept stretching myself.. and asking for more water..
was wheeled back to the ward..
So, that is my birth story.. it was pretty scary, the final part. Makes me wonder if i dare to go through that process again. but i was glad that stage is over. Can't believe how can i have said that i want to throw away my darling girl..
After delivering Jadelle, she was warded in ICU for 4 hrs for observation and drainage as she was distressed and pass motion in the womb and also swallowed some of it..
The PD also detected an extra sound in her heart..which is cos one of the foetal blood vessels which was supposed to close upon birth.. didn't managed to close 100%. now, Jadelle has a 2mm gap that allows extra blood to flow to the heart which might cause the heart to overwork in severe cases.. however, on the 3rd day, the sound can hardly be heard liaoz by the PD. So, we will go for follow up with the PD and cardiologist to ensure that 1 month later, the gap has fused closed.
We also stayed an extra day as Jadelle has slight jaundice of 9. Was discharged together on the 4th day as it is below 10 (@ 8.5).
Now, gotta monitor her urine and motion.. as she seems to be passing too little.. i latch her on and breastfeed her every 1 hr- 1.5 hr in the day (ooh.. my nipples r sore!) and at night, i do that still but add on Formula milk after breastfeeding to enable her to get more water and food for passing motion..)
My milk kick in today.. after bf her for 1 hr.. can pump out 1 teaspoon.. keke.. slowly lah.. but i think, her sucking is better @ extracting milk..
3rd September, 2006
~2am: played finish mj.. can't sleep so chatted with AK
~4am: tummy ache.. did some big biz and noticed blood flowing out.. also, had "urine incontinence".. aa huge gush of water came out.. later on, realised it was my water bag.. :P.. Called up Gynae.. gynae advised us to make our way slowly to Mt. Alvernia..
~4:30am: We left our place, after taking a shower and some photos.. started having mild menstrual cramping like pain every 5 minutes.. so.. those are what contractions feel like..
5am: reach Mt. A's labour ward and "checked in". Was given enema to pass out all the motion left in my system... contractions starts to get stronger..
10am: gynae arrived.. I was only 3-4cm dilated. Put on oxytoxin drip to make the contractions stronger. The contractions peaked @ 130 strength.. AK & I noticed that when the contractions strengthened, baby's heartbeat will drop.. got a little worried and starting talking to her. Still can tahan the contractions, with the help of the yoga breathing techniques..
2pm: still only 4cm dilated.. contractions @ > 100 strength is coming in every 2 minutes. Yoga breathing techniques still helping.. at peak of the contractions, i breathe in a little of the gas.. it does take the edge off the pain a little. Baby's heartbeat still drops @ peak of contractions.. i was worried and hope that baby isn't too distressed.. cos that will lead her to pass motion in the womb. decide to take epidural, as i don't know how long it will take.. although still can cope with the pain.. i was crossing my fingers and hoping that the epidural will allow me to dilate faster and get baby out ASAP..
4pm: 6cm dilated. The mid wife helped to stretch my cervix wider..
5:30pm: Gynae arrived and i am 10 cm dilated.. we started to push.. The epidural has worn off a little and i can feel every contraction.. though not super pain.. the pushing was tough.. i can't push 4x within 1 contraction.. it made me breathless and faint..
6pm: Gynae said the head can be seen.. he needs to use vacuum as bb is still not facing my spine.. a few times, the vacuum came off.. and um.. blood splattered all over the nurses, AK, gynae n me..the nurses was asking each other whether got kanna their hairband boh..
6:55pm: Gynae holds open my cervix.. didn't use the vacuum anymore and ask me to push really hard and out pops Jadelle and placed on my lap.. i nearly cried.. it was so unbelieveable..
7-7:15pm: baby was examined, weight taken.. PD came.. i vomited and kanna my hair.. (damn it!). muz be due to the epidural.. was given something in my drip to stop the vomitting..
7:20pm: I start to feel really lousy.. the feeling was like i reach the end of the world, i can't revert to my pre pregancy stage, i felt like dying and it seems like if i black out.. that's it.. to prevent myself slipping further into this state.. i voiced out how i feel.. immediately, everyone's attention was on me.. AK ask me if i wanted to hold the baby, i told him to throw the baby out and told him it is all his fault! arrgghh.. think i even mentioned that i wanted to die.. and all this in the midst of delivering my placenta!
8pm: Gynae starts to stitch me up. I was still not myself.. and told him i want to go home and get off the bed now.. even moved my legs which is still heavy with the epidural medication..
9pm: the allergic reaction the the anti vomitting drug wearing off.. and i feel more like myself.. back aches.. and i kept stretching myself.. and asking for more water..
was wheeled back to the ward..
So, that is my birth story.. it was pretty scary, the final part. Makes me wonder if i dare to go through that process again. but i was glad that stage is over. Can't believe how can i have said that i want to throw away my darling girl..
After delivering Jadelle, she was warded in ICU for 4 hrs for observation and drainage as she was distressed and pass motion in the womb and also swallowed some of it..
The PD also detected an extra sound in her heart..which is cos one of the foetal blood vessels which was supposed to close upon birth.. didn't managed to close 100%. now, Jadelle has a 2mm gap that allows extra blood to flow to the heart which might cause the heart to overwork in severe cases.. however, on the 3rd day, the sound can hardly be heard liaoz by the PD. So, we will go for follow up with the PD and cardiologist to ensure that 1 month later, the gap has fused closed.
We also stayed an extra day as Jadelle has slight jaundice of 9. Was discharged together on the 4th day as it is below 10 (@ 8.5).
Now, gotta monitor her urine and motion.. as she seems to be passing too little.. i latch her on and breastfeed her every 1 hr- 1.5 hr in the day (ooh.. my nipples r sore!) and at night, i do that still but add on Formula milk after breastfeeding to enable her to get more water and food for passing motion..)
My milk kick in today.. after bf her for 1 hr.. can pump out 1 teaspoon.. keke.. slowly lah.. but i think, her sucking is better @ extracting milk..
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