CD 24.... 4 more days...

Hello,

I didn't sleep so well yesterday.. had dreams about people comparing my apartment with theirs!

Anyway, I woke up early.. wow.. it was cold these few nights.. Anyway, I decided Since last sunday to start taking my body basal temperature (BBT). It will help me monitor my cycle.. and also.. just for fun..

since sunday, my temperature has been mantaining at ~36.7 degrees celsius on average.. i dunno if this is considered high.. but.. i just take note.. it seems that if the temperature mantains at a higher then usual temperature for 18 days since ovulation, it is a strong likelihood that I am pregnant..

but, since i never took my temperature from Nov 12 onwards.. i can't be sure.. :P

What am I experiencing now? Well, I have the following suspicious symptoms that can indicate either that i am pregnant or I am suffering from PMS:

1) Sore boobies..they can bounce now.. and rather painful.. and my nipples are quite prominent.. also the nipple on my right side seems darker then usual..

2) nausea & queasy feeling..(dunno if it is due to my sub-conscious wishing for symptoms, the coffee that i take every morning, the indigestion i suffers from eating too much oily food..)

3) A very subtle lower back aching which is on & off.. (is it due to my bed??)

4) sleepless nights: lots of tossing & turning.

one of my internet frens suggested that I test with a HPT.. but i tested on sat.. nothing positive.. and i was rather upset.. so, maybe i just wait.. and see if my menses reports on next monday..

then we will know.. i cross my fingers..

Starting all over again...

It has been such a long time since i entered this blog.. and it is because it would have caused me alot of pain.....

I had lost the last baby... and those drops of blood.. were starting signs of miscarriage..

the baby stopped growing and my body started to reject it..

I will never forget that day.. I called AK after the gynae told me the harsh facts.. i was screaming in my mind silently.. NONONONO.... praying desperately that he is not telling me the bad news...

The next day, we went for 2nd opinion, only to have the facts harshly drummed in again, though more gently...

Today, if i am still pregnant, i would have been in my 5th month..I tell myself that I had asked for a healthy baby.. and the last one was not meant to be with us.. bye my baby... i love you...

As it is, i have to restart my life again.. and only to realise that life goes on , work goes on, regardless of what you had gone through..

AK & I are not giving up and we have started trying again since 3 months ago... The last gynae has assured us that we should try again and we didn' have any problems. The last miscarriage was a random case..
Easier said then done... but i don't want to think about it.. another gal fren, who miscarried same time as me, is now 3 months pregnant again.. I have hope..

Today is CD 23... having sore boobies.. really sore.. but otherwise, no other symptoms..

crossing fingers and praying to the Gods that we can have a healthy baby soon...